Do you know this tingling feeling like bubbles filling your entire body?

This is how I feel, when the spring begins to flourish. Flower buts – and early flowers are announcing that NOW – finally the spring is here! Well – it took some time – but here it is at last.

This is the signal for you to appear from your winter hive  (see Esther s Fredagsblog “The bear is sleeping”) and get rebooted. Maybe, you have some practicle tasks in the garden. Maybe your home needs a spring cleaning. Or maybe you have something new yourself, which you want to initiate.

Find the bubbles
But no matter, if it is one or the other thing: Now it is time to find your bubbles. Not necessarily the champagne bubbles (even though it may give the same sensations 🙂 )

No – I am thinking of the bubbles inside of yourself, just waiting to jump out and and dance around and be happy. Maybe some of the bubbles contain some of the projects, which you have been dreaming about for some time now: Writing a book, redecorating your living room, plant a fig, start a company – or maybe fall in love.

I don’t have any bubbles inside of myself
Well – are you really sure about that? Maybe, you just didn’t notice them yet. If you cannot find them – then go out into the nature – and not only for 5 minutes. Go for a long walk and breath it all in. Look at all the sprouting trees and flowers.

You still don’t sense the bubbles? OK – then go home and prepare a nice hot bubblebath. Or buy yourself a bottle of soap bubbles. 🙂

Have a fantastic weekend – Life is waiting for you!

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I believe that most people know this sentence. We might have said it aloud – or we have had it as a thought. Very often, though, is this sentence followed by a “but”

“… but I cannot do that, because then …..”

Even though, we do know, what our hearts wish us to do – we very often do the exact opposite.

Why don’t we follow our hearts?
Often, we go against the wishes of our heart because of fear of the consequences. Not the good consequences of course -like the bubbling sensation – yes maybe even happiness, which may rise, if we follow our heart.

NO – our bad expectations to consequences, which might threaden our lifelyhood in one way or the other.

Maybe you hate your job – but dare not jump into something new due to fear of experiencing financial problems. Maybe you are in a bad relationshiop – but dare not end it due to fear of being alone. Maybe you need to make a choise between two possible choises, but dare not let the heart choose due to fear of the reaction of other people.

Counter arguments are blocking the heart in being heard
It might be difficult to follow your heart. There might be counter arguments, running around in your head trying to make you reject your heart but instead follow the road, which is the most “safe” and “secure”. Often you end up choosing the “safe/secure” road you. You might even imagine that you did in fact follow your heart – but at a point of time later on you’ll discover that you didn’t (It might even take many years, before you dicover this).

Practise makes perfect
How do we learn to follow our hearts? I can only speak from my own experience: Practise – Practise – Practise. Throughout my life, I have too often gone against my heart. By this, I have ended up big or minor unpleasant circumstances, before I have comprehended that this was all due to the fact that I did not listen to my heart, which was in fact shouting to me. Maybe I did in fact know this in beforehand and said: “Well, If I were to follow my heart…. I would”. And then I went against this anyway.

Luckily, I have become better at following my heart now.

Listen and feel
The situations, in which I have know for sure how to follow my heart, I feel this physically in my heart. In fact, very often before the thought has reached my brain. I feel this as a bubbling light sensation – or the opposite a heaviness or sadness. I can also use this consciously, if I reach a situation, in which I have chosen bewteen the road of the heart and the road of the mind (which unfortunately is not always the same). I move my consciousness to my heart – feel it – and act on it (hopefully).s

The stomach speaks for the heart
If you do not quite feel your heart yet, you can turn your consciousness to your stomach instead. Your stomach speaks loudly too – either with a bubbling lightness or a heavy knot.

Mindfulness
Maybe you are still not experienced in feeling yourself physically either in your heart or your stomach. By practising mindfulness/meditation you can achieve a great insight – physically as well. You can become better at feeling yourself – and thereby you can learn how to follow your heart.

If you follow your heart – you are true to yourself
Practise being true to yourself and thereby saying yes to your heart!

Have a fantastic weekend – Life is wating for you.

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Sometimes, we may all need to protect ourselves from being drained from energy and exhausted.

Tine Krull Petersen – one of the readers of Esther’s Friday Blog – has suggested to me that I write on this subject.

I guess that most of us recognize that when entering a room, we can feel heavy energy from one or more persons sitting there. This might influence us negatively, making us feeling ill – from exhaustion or maybe even a heavy incomprehensible sadness or other kind of discomfort.

Most vulnerable persons

Especially people being in a close contact to other human beings through their jobs – i.e. therapist, healers, social workers, etc. – are at risk of being drained from energy and feeling exhausted, when they return home from work. Well – yes – this might be “just” because they have been busy – but this isn’t necessarily the case. Even a therapist, healer, or any other person with a fellow human contact, may feel the same amount of exhaution as a person, who has been working for 7 hours.

Stress is an important factor, which might make us more vulnerable and susceptible to other people’s energy field. If you are a highly sensitive person, you will feel these influences more clearly.

We all experience periods of our lives, during which we are more or less exposed to these influences. So – please do not imagine that you are “protected” just because you are not mentioned here.

Why do we get exhausted?

What happens is that the energy field around our entire body has caught up on some impulses from the energy field of the other human being. Some might even experience that their energy “is eaten” by other human beings.

The closer we get to another human being – the more we are at risk of the person (or whatever is surrounding this person), will tap our energy. At the same time, we have collected the other person’s energy, which is not compatible with that of our own. This means that we might be able to feel – what the other person is feeling  or the effect of it.

What can we do to avoid being exhausted?

What can we do, if we are exposed to influences drainingus mentally, physically, and emotionally?

First of all, you need to be conscious about the situations, which are exhausting you the most. Maybe after performing personal care of the inhabitants of a nursing home? Or after having clients in therapy or at healing sessions? Or after discussing something with your sister on the phone? – Or?

Upon this, you can learn how to protect yourself – either before the situation –  if you are conscious about it – or whilst you are in the situation. This can be done by several methods. I am going to mention one very simple method, which can be done fast and easily. Another advantage of this method is that – although you are protected – you will still be present to other people instead of closing off completely and making you unapproachable.

The Golden Spiral

Simply imagine that you inhale a golden spiral through your pate all the way through your entire body. When you exhale, the spiral goes up again through your body again from your feet to your pate. Actually, this simple technique may produce small miracles. You might experience that suddenly you’ll be able to have conversations with people, which previously were very unpleasant. In case you feel the need for it, you may repeat the above a couple of times. I have used this spiral myself successfully many times both in connection with a meditation and on my way in of a door to a room.

The golden spiral is only one out of many other methods, which can be used for protection of your energy field.

 Other methods

If being drained energywise is a general problem for you, I suggest that you learn one or more methods either from me or from another instructor.

I supervise and teach in several kinds of protection – among others a very efficient protection meditation, which I have learned from a shaman many years ago.

Also within the Reiki and Inka tradition, there are good techniques. Read more about Reiki here

Read more about The Inca Tradition here

Take care of yourself. Remember – there is only one you – and you should last for the rest of your life.

Thank you to Tine Krull Petersen for the suggestion to my blog. You can also suggest a subject for my blog. Write to me here.

The Friday blog last week was about trusting that you deserve, when you are praised. The blog told about persons showing self confidence in their job and getting a receiving a lot of praise. Unfortunately, there bad self-esteem made it difficult for them to trusting that they were as good as other claimed.

Many people believe that self confidence is the same as self esteem. Alas – this is not the case. A person can have a lot of self confidence – but no self-esteem at all.

How is this possible?

A sparkling woman is giving an enchanting speech. Wow – her audience thinks – she’s really got self-esteem. Well – maybe -yes – but not necessarily. Obviously, she has a lot of self confidence. She is showing her audience that she really trusts what she is doing. But this does not mean that she has a good self esteem. What the audience does not know is that upon her splendid speech,she’ll be walking home alone to sit by herself feeling lonely and worthless -maybe because she has not friends – or maybe because she isn’t able to attract a proper boyfriend – or maybe for a third reason.

And the man, who has had the same job for 20 years. He is very good at his job, and he is really confident that he is performing the job satisfactorily. He has also a lot of self confidence as to his job. But on the inside, he might be sad. He doesn’t feel that he is good at anything else in life. He doesn’t have any self-esteem either.

Being succesful is not necessarily equal to having a good self esteem. A managing director may possess a less self-esteem than a unemployed person. Being self confident in one’s job could lead to to increased self-esteem. But unfortunately, this is not always the case. Being self confident may be a stepstone towards a goodself-esteem – but there are no guarantees. A lot of training and active personal development may be required, until self confidence leads to self-esteem.

However, I venture to assert that if a person possesses a good self-esteem he/she also possesses a good self confidence.

Persons possessing a good self esteem know that they deserve being praised, but  if they are not praised, they do not loose their courage. Neither does it matter to them, if they meet a task, which they are unable to perform. They accept themselves in spite of all their “errors/faults”. They know that this is part of being a human being. Even though, you might not be good at skiing, it is ok. You are good at so many other things.

Among other things you are good at being YOU.

Next week I will  give you some ideas as to how to increase your self-esteem by increasing your self confidence.

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As I ended my blog last week – this question: Is it ok to bully another human being and exclude him/her from a group – because he/she is “strange” and “different”? Is it ok to rule a person out – instead of diving a bit into this person and getting to know him/her on a deeper level?

If we did this, we might discover that this person is “just” a human being like ourselves – and not any “stranger” or ” more different” than we are ourselves.

What happens is actually very “natural” in respect of social psychological terms. From the world of the animals, we know that there is an alpha male, who is ruling over all the other animals of the flock. Some of the weaker animals of the flock risk being expelled from the flock, if they do not know how to gain power.

The same applies for the world of the humans – when another human being is expelled from a flock.

Very often bullying is implemented by one single alpha person, who is usually very strong and powerfu. The person owns charisma, authority and is popular. The alpha person is very good at gathering other persons around him/herself. Persons admiring him/her. What will happen then is quite natural. The opinions of the alpha person are adopted, accepted, and lived out by the flock surrounding the alpha person.

If the alpha person is turning his/her eyes upwards when seeing the “bully victim” – the flock will copy that. If the alpha person is sighing abusively towards the “bully victom”, the flock will copy that. If the alpha person is ignoring the “bully victom”, the flock will copy that. If the alpha person is physically pushing the “bully vicim” – the flock will accept this without protesting. And so on ……

The flock surrounding the alpha person are consciously or unconsciously followers joining closely up to the alpha person. If we imagine a big flock – centered by the alpha person – the inner circle of the flock consists of the most intense followers. This circle might then be circled by another circle of followers at the edge of the flock. The latter might not be as intense as the first mentioned. They might slip out of the flock from time to time to interact with others outside the flock. Maybe they even interact with the “bully victim”. Maybe they even like the “bully victim”, but do not have the courage to reveal this to the flock – because it is so “cosy” and “safe” to be nearby the alpha person. Finally, they might not realize what is really going on.l

The above scenario can be seen in the world of the children as well as in the world of the adults. There isn’t a certain age, which is pre-dominant as to bullying.

What can we do in order to stop bullying other human beings? What can we do to stop being followers because of a fascination towards being close to a alpha person.H

When will the parents start teaching their children that it is not ok to bully other children and pushing them out the group? I know a child, who was not invited to a party, because the parents of the classmate found that the child was too strange.

I want to join the current debate on bullying. In order to succeed in getting a society, which we can be proud of forwarding to our grandchildren – we have to stop the bullying NOW. Whether it is bullying of children or adults.

What on earth are you up to – parents? Get up from your sofas and teach your lovely children about moral and respect towards other human beings. Do it – before it is too late, and your children end up as alpha persons, gathering followers to bully other human beings.

And to the teachers, who have still not comprehended that other people’s children are spending most of their lives together with you. You own the responsibility as well. I do know that the schools are more focused on the bullying problems now – but still not enough

And to the grown ups, who consider bullying of other grown ups to be quite allright. You should be ashamed of yourselves! You are supposed to be the rolemodels of your children – so where does this lead us to?

Even though a person is “strange” or “different” this is not an open access card to bully the person and keeping him/her out of the flock. Neither when in respect of a child nor in respect of an adult.

Bullying is never ok – children or grown ups!!!!

For the curious person, who might still not have found out:

I am Gemsehopper’s daughter. My wonderful father – whose name is not Gemsehopper, of course – got his revenge many years later, when he accidentially met the gym teacher’s daughter. After the meeting with my father, she went home to her own father and scolded him.

And me – I have survived all of it – I have become wiser and better at saying “never mind”

And – well – yes – I am still both strange and different – but I am actually rather proud of that.

Have a fantastic weekend – Life is waiting for you!

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Photo: free images/Photographer Ponnu Chakkara